Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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