i just wanna soil my oats bro
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
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