I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
