Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
