Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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