The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
