Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
