and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
