Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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