I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
