so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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