so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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