I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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