Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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