my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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