life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
