I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
