my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
