I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
