Me too!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
