I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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