I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
