:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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