I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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