i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
