Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
