Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
