For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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