What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
