Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
