so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I need moral support for this bender
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
