shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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