1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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