I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
