Im at strip club and am horny
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Randomize
