So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
