Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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