Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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