I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
