how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
