yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
