can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
