I need help removing her.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
