Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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