I want to have your abortion
I think my fart just growled at me.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
