I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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