i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
