You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it's like iHOP with fire
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
