Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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