so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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