this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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