Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
